Parenting 0-5: Building Bonds with Your Children

Alpine First 5 hosted an 8 week parenting series, using Active Parenting curriculum presented by Carol Ledesma of Choices for Children, for parents of children 0-5 years old. This is the second post in the blog series "Parenting 0-5 years" allowing us to share some of the information presented in the sessions with those unable to attend.

Session 3: Building Bonds with Your Children

Building a bond with routines
Routines involve doing some things at the same time and in the same way each day. Routines help young children feel safe and secure- a critical emotional need. To get you thinking...What happened this morning? When did your children wake up? How did they wake up? What things happened and in what order this morning? Does every morning look roughly like this morning? If so you have a routine. Also begin thinking about eating routines (when and where meals are provided), sleeping routines (naps and bedtime routines). Change is a necessary part of life and routines will have to be modified in response to those alteration. While routines will need to be altered the key is to provide a level of predictability by sticking to the routines you can keep and simulating as best you can those you can't. 

Building bonds through play
Playing with your child helps build a strong bond between you and your child. Realize that playing with your child for a few minutes a day is better than playing with them once a week for an hour. Try to incorporate play into your everyday routines so your children can expect and anticipate one one one time with you.

Building bonds through mutual respect. 
Feeling respected is a critical emotional need for children. One of the best ways children can learn respect is to be treated with respect. "Put the shoe on the other foot" by speaking to your child with words and a tone you would desire to be given yourself. Children are never too young to be shown respect. Infants can be given respect by talking them through what you are doing. Tell them what you are doing, "I'm turning the light on." or "We need to change your diaper. I am going to pick you up". Young children feel respect when they are allowed to express their emotions and are not judged negatively for their feelings or told they are "okay".  Allow children time to play and the choice of where to direct their attention. Value and accept your child's temperament and individuality. Observe them more. Through observation and listening you can learn more about your child and understand what they are trying to communicate. 

Be sure to offer your child plenty of Genuine Encounter Moments (GEMS)*. This can be done by getting on your child's eye level, making eye contact, touching them, giving them 100% focused attention and a response coming from your heart rather than your head.  

Tell your child "I love you" and say it often. You can't say it enough or spoil them by doing so. 

*To learn more about Genuine Encounter Moments read Kathryn Kvols book Redirecting Children's Behavior. This title available in our Resource Libraries. 

Additionally, to learn more about treating infants and toddlers with respect, read Magda Gerber's book Caring for Infants With Respect.