Foster Self-Esteem in Children

If it were only as easy and giving a big bowl of self esteem. Self esteem, or feeling good about one's self, is something that is cultivated and strengthened over time, rather than given quickly and easily. Parents can help cultivate or foster self-esteem in their children using a multi-faceted approach from birth. The more global the approach the better the results.

Five Critical Emotional Needs

Begin by meeting your child's five critical emotional needs. Show your children they are respected, important, accepted, included and secure. 

Accountability

Teach children accountability by having them keep their commitments.

Accept mistakes as part of life and encourage your children to be accountable by repairing their mistakes. 

Be sure you separate the "deed from the doer" by focusing any disappointment on the behavior and not your child.  

Teach you child positive coping skills when they are feeling down or depressed (talking about feelings, walking, exercising, having some quiet time, etc.)

Give your child age appropriate chores so they can feel capable.

Benevolence

Give your child plenty of opportunities to help others. Be sure to focus on the positive feelings of the person being helped rather than praising your child for their "good deed".

Model for your children acts of kindness and compassion. 

Be sure you show your children you appreciate them and remember to tell them "thank you" for their efforts and support.

Competency & Confidence

Help your child develop feeling of competency by embracing their interests.

Ask your child to teach your or someone else something they do well.

Help them set goals and achieve them. 

Encourage your children to venture out of their comfort zone and take risks. 

Allow opportunities to make social connections with peers with similar interests by helping them join a sports team, art or music program or club. 

“Parents need to fill a child’s bucket of self-esteem so high that the rest of the world can’t poke enough holes to drain it dry.” 
― Alvin Price author of "Discipline"