Take Time to Listen

It is easy for adults to get in the habit of doing the bulk of the communicating when relating to children, especially younger children. Most times we take control of the communication process because our busy lives have us programmed to take action and move to the next task.

We miss out on real opportunities to connect with children when we do all the talking, anticipate needs before they are communicated and assume we know what the child wants to say.  

Observing your child can tell you a great deal about them, even if they are not yet using language. Body language, facial expressions and what they are focusing their attention on can tell us a great deal.
When we get into the habit of observing our children, even when they are able to use language, we can be more in tune with them. (This may come in handy during the teen years.)

Waiting can be very hard to do. Our lives are moving at such a rapid pace and most unscheduled time seems to be fill quickly with some sort of action. Adults can also struggle with the urge to spend this "silent" time by teaching or quizzing; "What is this?" "What is that?" We anticipate needs and meet them without providing the opportunity to communicate the need. If you notice your daughter's water cup is nearly empty, do you take it and refill or it or do you wait for her to request more water? Meeting needs before they are communicated takes the opportunity to communicate the need away from the child. Children need to practice communicating and will feel successful when they communicate a need and get that need met.

Listening- we've all heard how important it is in any relationship. To listen, we have to stop talking, stop narrating, stop quizzing, stop interrupting and just focus in and listen.

Observe, wait and listen.
We're gonna love what we see.

For more information on listening, read our post, Five Critical Emotional Needs of Children based up the works of Dr. Gerald Newmark. His book "How To Raise Emotionally Healthy Children" is available for loan in our Resource libaries.

We also have the book and DVD "It Takes Two to Talk" by Jan Pepper & Elaine Weitzaman.
While this is a "practical guide for parents of children with language delays" any adult will benefit from reading this fantastic material on how to better communicate with children.