Transitioning to Child Care or School

“The art of progress is to preserve order amid change and to preserve change amid order.” – Alfred North Whitehead

As adults, we know that life doesn’t stay the same. We must constantly adapt and accept changes in our lives. There are changes that are minor, others that are monumental, some that we’ve initiated ourselves and others that catch us totally off-guard. If we reflect on how we’ve handled those changes in our lives, most of us would agree that the changes that we knew about ahead of time were the easiest to adapt to and manage. It is important to realize that the children in our lives are also affected by change. It is our responsibility to help them make those transitions as smoothly as possible.

Some of the biggest changes in a child’s life are: going to child care for the first time and starting school. Other changes that children may have to deal with are: moving, loss, divorce or a traumatic event such as a natural disaster. Starting child care or school can be very exciting and it can also be stressful for both the parent and the child. Parents may experience guilt and feel uncomfortable about leaving their child. The child may be apprehensive about what might happen in the new environment. Children are influenced by their parents’ reactions and the steps their parents take create a smooth transition.

Here are some practical tips that can help “preserve order amid change”.

For Parents:

• Be sure to talk to your child about school or child care so they will not be surprised by the new arrangement. Encourage them to tell you how they feel before and after their visit to the new environment.
• Don’t rush your child. Allow plenty of time in the morning to get ready for child care or school and spend some time with your child once you arrive at the location. This allows the child time to adjust to the new environment, the teacher/caregiver and the other children.
• Help your child become acquainted with the new surroundings and unfamiliar adults and children before you leave. This puts the provider/teacher in a better position to offer reassurance.
• For children in child care, let your child bring a special blanket, stuffed animal, toy or picture of the family. These can help them feel more secure about leaving home.
• Let your child know that you understand and accept their feelings. Mocking, chastising, criticizing, teasing, or threatening are some of the responses that can prolong or worsen anxiety. Resist the temptation to bribe a child into hiding or controlling their emotions. Let your child know that you understand and accept their feelings.
• When it’s time to leave, tell your child good-bye, where you are going, and when you will return. Don’t slip out without letting the child know you are leaving. It will only make the separation more painful for the child. Your departure should be handled honestly.
• Remember, it’s normal to feel anxious about leaving your child. Communication with other parents can be a great support.

For Providers/Teachers:

• Encourage parents to spend some extra time at drop off and pick up times to ease the transition between home and school.Encourage parents to spend some extra time at drop off and pick up times to ease the transition between home and school.
• Respect the child’s feelings. Their distress is temporary and will decrease as you bond and they feel secure and welcomed in their new environment.
• If you need to step in to help the child separate, say “I’m glad you’re here. Now it’s time for parents to go to work and children to go to child care. You will see mommy again when she comes to pick you up. Let’s go see what there is to do today.” Lead the child as you both wave good-bye.

Change is inevitable, but given the right tools and information, it doesn’t have to be painful.