9 Parenting Strategies for the 40 Developmental Assets

Last week we talked about the 40 Developmental Assets All Children Need. To clarify, Search Institutes's 40 Developmental Assets looks at a child in a very broad setting. Children and their assets are viewed within the context of their community. As a result, some of the forty developmental assets listed won't directly be influenced by parenting. However, parents have the ability to connect their children with positive resources, activities, mentors and contacts within their community to help their children acquire more assets. Remember, Search Institute researchers believe children with 31 or more of these assets to be thriving!

Working on 40 assets can seem overwhelming. Work smarter! Search Institute's Parenting Further website has created a list of 9 Strategies for Parents. Energy focused on these strategies will "ripple " helping children build more developmental assets.

Strategy #1             Create a warm, caring and supportive environment where children feel loved and valued. Children need parents to spend time with them. Spending quality time with your children allows you to strengthen your relationship and bond. Be sure your children understand your love for them is unconditional. 

Strategy #2             Maintain open, honest communication.
Make an effort to keep open and regular communication with your children. Truly listen to your children and include them in family decisions. Children who are comfortable confiding in their parents will be less likely to turn to other sources to get their emotional needs met. If you family's communications tends to be sporadic and brief, start by setting up weekly family meeting to share feelings, information and experiences.
Listen to what children have to say. Often we talk; we lecture; we give advice; we tell them how to feel and what to think; we overpower them with words. We should be listening and paying more attention to what they are saying, thinking and feeling.  Give your children your undivided attention, even when you only have a few minutes.
                             
Strategy #3            Connect your child to other caring, responsible adults in settings which meet your comfort level for safety. Search Institute research show that children with supportive adults in his or her life are more likely to succeed in life than those with none or few. The more supportive adults, the better the results. Having responsible, caring adults in your child's life provides a support network for you as a parent and your family as a whole.

Strategy #4           Get involved in your child's school and other activities. According to a meta-analysis (compilation of related studies) by William H. Jeynes in 2005, parents who are more involved in their child's education have students with higher academic achievements (grades and standardized test scores). 
Be sure you nurture your child's spark which Search Institute defines as an individual’s deepest passions and interests that give her or him meaning, focus, joy and energy. Children who know their spark have better outcomes.

Strategy #5           Empower your child to contribute. Give your children meaningful jobs. Children need to know that their contributions to the family are valued and that responsibility is part of belonging to a family or community. 
               
Strategy #6            Keep your children safe. This strategy is related to Strategy #2. If communication is open and honest, you and your child can talk over any potential safety issues- especially with older children who aren't under your direct supervision 24/7.

Strategy #7            Set boundaries and high expectations. Children need structure, without it they won't feel secure. Setting limits helps children guide their own behavior. Use positive parenting techniques to help guide children's behavior rather than punishments. 

Strategy #8            Get to know your child's friends. This strategy is related to Strategy #2 and Strategy #9. Knowing your child's friends doesn't mean you will directly encourage or discourage friendships but it will allow you the opportunity to discuss issues which may arise from time spent observing the relationship.

Strategy #9            Be a positive role model. When you consider that over 95% of a child's behavior is learned by imitation or modeling of those around him/her and only 5% is learned from direct instruction, you can see the importance of modeling (and good friends). 

Visit Search Institute's Parent Further website for more information on parenting topics. 

Many of these 9 strategies can be supported by the materials presented in Dr. Gerald Newmark's book "How to Raise Emotionally Healthy Children" in which he discusses children's Five Critical Emotional Needs.