Strengthening Families: Social and Emotional Competence of Children

Recently Strategies came out to Alpine County and shared their workshop "Strengthening Families by Building Protective Factors" One of the Five Protective Factors in protecting all families from child abuse is increasing the social and emotional competence of children. Parents and children will both be less frustrated when they understand one another better and can communicate their physical and emotional needs in positive ways. Positive discipline techniques can help children develop better social and emotional skills because these methods of discipline are about helping children learn - over time- how to behave rather than punishing them for their misbehavior.

Our workshop leader, Sarah Frohock, shared P.R.I.D.E. skills with us. P.R.I.D.E. skills increase the child's self-esteem, improve the parent-child relationship, decrease negative behaviors- thereby reducing the potential for child abuse and child mental health problems.  P.R.I.D.E. skills is a Parent-Child Interactive Therapy developed by Sheila Eyberg for children ages 2-7 and their caregivers and is evidence based. Caregivers begin by using the P.R.I.D.E. skills during a Child-Directed Interaction (CDI). A CDI is a brief period of time (10-15 minutes) in which caregivers give their undivided attention to the child while doing the following.....

P- Praise appropriate behavior. While focusing on your children for the 10-15 minutes try to "Catch them being good". You won't need to reward your child with anything other than immediate recognition and appreciation. "Thank you for asking me for the red car. I will be happy to share it with you."
Praise clarifies for children what they doing right so they know what they got right and can do more it. Acknowledging what they are doing right also improves their self-esteem and makes both of you feel better. As you grow more accustomed to praise you can use it outside of your focus time. Be sure the praise is specifically related to a positive behavior and not a general "Good job!" "Good try!" or "Good Boy". For more information read our post "Praise and Rewards".

R- Reflect appropriate talk. This means you set aside time to give your child your undivided attention and allow them to lead the conversation. You can then reflect back what they said to show you are listening and you understood what they said- almost echoing their words. This allows your child to practice taking the lead role as communicator.

I- Imitate appropriate play. Again, let your child take the lead in play- don't be tempted to be the play director. This gives them practice taking a lead role in play.

D- Describe appropriate behavior. This is essentially narrating what is happening. "You are driving the cars." "You are putting the animals in the barn." Narrating helps children organize their thoughts about play and adds language to help with speech development. Remember this is done during a focused period of time- narrating all day long will quickly wear on you and your child. Outside of the Child-Directed Interaction be sure to O.W.L. (Observe, Wait, Listen).

E- Show some enthusiasm. None of the points above will be effective unless your attention, focus and enthusiasm are authentic. Your enthusiasm shows you are interested in your child and strengthens your relationship.

Word to the wise
(just during the Child-Directed Interaction period)

• Don't use the "special time" as a reward or take it away as punishment. Your child needs your attention regardless of their behaviors. (Actually when they misbehave they need your attention more.)
• Ignore inappropriate behavior- taking care to avoid facial expressions. Ignore it every time and expect it to increase initially. 
• Avoid giving commands. It is 10-15 minutes where your child is the leader. 
• Avoid asking questions
• Avoid criticizing

Have you used P.R.I.D.E. skills with a child?

Share your experience and tips with us!