Giving Kids More Responsibility

You want your child to grow up into a responsible adult that enjoys work, shows up on time, and follows through with commitments.

 In earlier posts we discussed how children need have 5 critical emotional needs- including the need to feel important. Feeling important refers to a child’s need to feel: “I have value.  I am useful.  I have power.  I am somebody.”  Children want to participate and contribute to their world in meaningful ways. They want to know their presence in the world is valued.

Fortunately, life gives daily opportunities for children to make contributions. Rather than giving them a blanket list of chores to complete on their own, work along side them. With your help, even children as young as 12-18 months can make contritbutions.

Working with children serves many purposes. The first is that it provides an opportunity for them to share in what you are doing so they feel included. Feeling included is one of five critical emotional needs. Children will enjoy positive attention and therefore you should see a decline in negative behaviors with the goal of seeking your attention.

Working along side children also provides them opportunities to learn and practice their skills with immediate feedback, hints, tips, etc. As time progresses, they will be able to accomplish more on their own and move onto different tasks which need your initial guidance. Remember to give then a sufficient challenge. You can always step in and offer the least amount of help necessary.

Children won't see chores the same way adult do, especially if the work is completed together. 

Besides meeting critical emotional needs, making valuable contributions to the household are rich learning experiences and strengthen developmental skills. 
Imagine the learning that takes place just by sorting silverware and the muscle control and coordination needed for folding simple washcloths.

There are many lists available on-line which list age-appropriate chores. These lists are generally based upon the child completing the task alone. With your help and side-by-side instruction, your child will be capable of much more, while enjoying your time and attention.