Teach Children Optimism

Resilient: able to become strong, healthy, or successful again after something bad happens

Optimism is a component of resiliency.  Optimistic children are more likely to skirt around depression and are more likely to succeed in school than children with negative outlooks on life. Optimistic children have a high sense of self worth and feelings of competence- additional assets than play into resiliency. Children who are optimistic believe they are capable of success. They also see "hope on the horizon", believing even if things are bad now, they will indeed get better. This allows them to keep trying even after they fail avoiding the trap of feeling hopeless and depressed and giving up.

Optimism is not something we are born with. It is a skill. It is a habit. It is a mindset. Aaaahhh a "silver lining": pessimists can always change into optimists.

Dr. Martin Seligman a psychologist specializing in positive psychology coined the phrase "Learned Optimism". From years of research in positive psychology he discovered, optimists believe:

• They are responsible for their success but if something bad happens, they externalize it- making it impersonal. For example, you forgot to add baking powder to the bread batter and it didn't turn out. You reason, "Next time I won't make bread while I am chatting on the phone". It is important to note that learned optimism isn't blaming others for bad events and never taking responsibility or being at fault. 
• Optimists also compartmentalize bad events. If something goes wrong they don't hop aboard the pity train. They can acknowledge the bad event while still maintaining and recognizing what is going well. Optimism is not denying problems exist ("everything is great") even when they aren't "great". 
• Optimists also believe that bad events are only temporary and that things will get better. 

A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity;
an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.

Winston Churchill

As parents you can help grow optimism by:

• Offering encouragement over praise. Encouragement is based on effort and attitudes. Praise focuses more on results and personal attributes.
• Encouraging children to take a risk and try. Help them understand that failure is natural and a great way to learn. The key is to keep trying. Celebrate and learn from successes. What played into the success?
• Children need to understand that talent is something that needs to be developed rather than something people are born with. Encourage effort and practice to help develop skills. 
• Plan for the best. Expect life will be good and things will go well. If children expect a negative outcome, or don't want to get their hopes up, that doesn't leave much energy left for trying. 
• Children need to feel included and connected to those around them. Spend time with your children and share your interests with each other. Communicate regularly with them and include them in family decisions and household chores, etc. Foster friendships and social connections outside of the family. 
• Help child develop a sense of autonomy by giving them safe choices so they can practice making decisions for themselves. 
• Help your children grow competence by giving them age appropriate responsibilities. 
• When problems develop, help them learn problem solving, rather than rushing in to "rescue" them. 
• Be sure not to label your children- good or bad, allowing children room to grow and view themselves differently free of confining labels.
• Last but certainly not least, model optimism in your own life.

Optimists believe life is good and bad but mostly good and when it's bad it will always get better.