If I Make a Mistake, Can I Have a "Do-Over"?

You want your child to grow up to be an awesome accountable adult.

What you can do now: help him learn to repair his mistakes rather than make excuses, cover them up, lie or blame others.

Keeping the end goal in mind, when your child makes a mistake in the "here and now" instead of punishing, time outs, taking away privileges or admonishing (big breath in..." I can't believe you did THAT!"), try the following responses instead.

• Give your child a chance to do it over. Show your child you have confidence that if he keeps trying, he will "get it right". Be sure to show him or walk him through the situation if he is unsure of what to do, being mindful of not jumping in with a solution.
• If it can't be done over, ask what can be done to make amends and what might be done next time if the same situation were to occur.
• Separate the deed from the doer. Reassure your child your love is unconditional and although he has made a mistake it does not affect your love for him.

Since 90% of what children learn is from modeling, display accountability in your own life and repair your mistakes.

"If you believe that you can damage, then believe that you can fix" -Rebbe Nachman